It’s less about positions and more about your brain

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Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash

How to rekindle sexual desire in a long-term relationship is less about new positions — and more about working your brain.

Written by a sex and relationship therapist

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Photo by Eric Froehling on Unsplash

1. Work out what you want

And why it matters — written by a sex therapist

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Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

As with everything else in life, sex doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes it leaves us feeling happy — but other times it makes us feel empty, sad or frustrated. If you’re asking yourself “why do I feel emotional after sex?” — you’ll want to consider the three reasons below.

The Three Answers to Your Question: Why Do I Feel Emotional After Sex?

Sexual disappointment

Sex often demands of us to be vulnerable and open with another person (or people).

One reason we end up having the same arguments over and over

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Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

Assuming the worst

Here’s what happens to your body when you climax

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Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

1. Your pelvic floor muscles contract

They’re also highly involved in orgasms.

Yes, and Here’s What You Can Do About It

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Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Depression is one of the most common mental health challenges in the world, affecting up to 264 million people. It can be debilitating — causing you to feel zapped of energy, numb, and low. It’s also one of the number one reasons people suffer from low libido. If you’re looking for answers to the question “can depression affect sexual desire and what can I do about it?” this article has got you covered with a step-by-step section on how to proceed.

Why Depression Affects Sexual Desire

We cannot separate our sexuality from ourselves, which is why depression can have such a large impact on our sex drive.

Depression Is An Antithesis To Sex

And how understanding them can increase sex drive

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Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

Sex drive seldom just happens. It’s the relationship between all of our core emotions and how we deal with them that determines how much we feel like sex. By changing the way you look at sexual desire, from a drive to one of the emotions of sex, you can ignite your fire again.

A New Way of Understanding Sexual Desire

Emotions are like compasses — they tell us what we need, communicate these needs to others, and motivate us to take action.

  • joy
  • interest
  • surprise
  • anger
  • sadness
  • shame and guilt
  • fear/worry
  • disgust, and
  • dissmell (a term coined by Tomkins)

A sex therapist explains long-term relationships

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Photo by Brett Meliti on Unsplash

With a little effort and determination, everyone can spice up their relationship. And the best part? The more often you do it, the easier it will become. Here are four things to know about keeping a long term relationship alive — and how to do them.

Four Things To Know About Keeping A Long Term Relationship Alive

1. Everyone needs to do it

We see the couples who are struggling with connection. The couples who feel like something is missing because they’re not having sex. The couples who’ve stopped looking at each other lovingly.

Communication difficulties are seldom an aphrodisiac

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Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

Communication — the heart of our relationships. Without it, it’s like pizza without pizza dough — baseless. When something is this fundamental, you’d think it’d be easy, but it’s not.

Relationships are communication

The other parts of the puzzle

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Photo by Tallie Robinson on Unsplash

Your partner can make you go weak in the knees — so why are you having trouble orgasming?

1. You Need To Be Turned On

Though similar and hard to disentangle, attraction and sexual desire aren’t actually one and the same thing.

Leigh Norén, MSc

Sex therapist and writer with a Master of Science in Sexology. Offers free online resources, sex therapy, and online courses.

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